FEAR: Fact & Imagination

In your last posting Allan you wrote that, '.... its not always that we imagine something in the dark that we then fear.' Let me try to illustrate this through: Fact, Vulnerability & Imagination by way of both a current and practical example. On Saturday (Dec 04, 2010), we visited New York City and it became my wife -Memory's first experience on a Ferry. For the past nine years of our marriage, I tried to persuade her-Memory, that it is safe to be on a: boat, ship, canoe, ferry and so on; but she always told me that she would rather be on anything else than to risk her life on top of water.

Now on Saturday, our friends (married -man & woman) who were with us asked each one of us to pick on a favorite place to visit and they were willing to take us there no matter what. My wife picked Ground Zero and I picked the Statue of liberty. I picked my choice on purpose knowing that the trip was going to include a boat or a ferry. My wife was not alert enough to think about all that and our friends were not aware if anything. So, when it was time for my choice we simply walked to the Ferry station and got into the ferry in the midst of hundreds of other people.

As were sitting down, my wife (Memory) whispered into my ears, 'Today you got me, you must be very happy then, and if anything happens to me, you are responsible..' I laughed out loud and our friends became very curious and we had to share the joke. One of them asked, what is your problem with water, have you drowned before or what? Memory's response was, It is purely nothing close to that but I know that I can not swim very well or rather I can't swim (which is a fact) so I feel vulnerable on water...... What if the worst happens and everyone swims for safety leaving me behind, to die from drowning (imagination). Through her explanation, it was clear that the fact her not being a good swimmer -mixed with the imagination of being left behind by some good swimmers to drown alone and die caused her to be fearful.

Nonetheless, the man-my friend- also shared his past experiences with the water and that he is not a good swimmer. He expressed that his peace during such moments comes from the fact that there are always life jackets available in case of emergence, and also that there were many other people like him -not good at swimming- as well. So, as we continued to talk, take pictures, and so on, the ferry was moving and we safely got to the other side and came back. I was glad she also enjoyed the trip.

Now the question is; Will my wife be OK with all the waters from now on? Should I think that her fear is completely gone? I do not really know. Anywhere, if that happens sooner or later, then probably this may be a way to confirm what Yi-Fu Tuan (1979) pointed out in his study, Landscapes of Fear. He wrote that, 'Landscapes of fear are not permanent states of mind tied to invariant segments of tangible reality;....'(p. 8). Still, the fact that Tuan further pointed out, 'we need to approach landscapes of fear... from the perspectives of both the individual and the group .... and to place them in a historical frame'(p.8), makes it imperative that we do not make some generalized conclusions when dealing with the phenomenon of fear. I do not think it would be fair to use my wife's case to come up with a position that fits all.

I do not really know, we will see ...